Boys To Men 0

Boys To Men

Posted by on 26th Mar, 2017

I’ll never forget that bright morning when the sonographer told me I was having a boy.  She moved her chilly, flat wand across my belly, showing me all of Luke’s emerging contours and creases, focusing in on that one piece of incontrovertible evidence – the marker of his masculinity.  “Yup, there it is,” she said, settling on his tiny penis. Christopher and I giggled on cue.  A boy!  I think we were meant to feel triumphant, like in the movies.  A boy! A boy? I walked around London for days in a daze. What would I do with a boy?  A grubby, boisterous boy.  What did I know of boys?  The men in my life – the loved and the lovers—all remained mysteries to me — their blunt simplicity endearing and maddening and cruel, often all at once. I kept walking, looking for comfort in the green, damp blooms of a London spring. Then in April Luke came to me.  And I held him, for hours I couldn’t let him go.  I clutched him like nothing I’d ever held before, loved him like no one before.  His body a part of my body, his cries somehow linked to my own.  A part of me now walked in the world....

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Walking Away – Saying No and Yes 0

Walking Away – Saying No and Yes

Posted by on 9th Mar, 2017

That sound you hear is probably not your feet running. Very few of us get out of that job, relationship, or commitment in a dramatic rush.  Maybe all you hear are faint tip toes. A couple of unsteady steps forward. Or the determined, deliberate gait of one foot after the other. Two of the very hardest words to say are “No” and “Yes”.  No to that which no longer serves you. Yes to whatever risks you’re tempted to take in order to realize your calling. The thing is, you have to say No and Yes together, one after the other, doesn’t matter in which order. Because No without Yes can leave you in limbo. While Yes without No can quickly turn dreams into fantasies. If you want to walk towards something better, you’ve got to be prepared to walk away from that which doesn’t serve you. Obvious, right? But think about what exactly you have to leave behind. Think hard. A dead end situation, of course. But — much more importantly– all the parts of you that kept you in that situation in the first place. The negative mental models and self-sabotaging behaviors, the insecurities and fears, they don’t serve us. Never will. And yet many of us spend...

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To protest or not to protest 0

To protest or not to protest

Posted by on 25th Jan, 2017

Are you experiencing protest-envy? Does the sight of people with placards stir you? Or make you roll your eyes? Not again, not now, not my March, not any march. Me, I’m somewhere in the middle. I’ll admit I’m weary of the need for this spectacle and wary of its impact, but I’m also hopeful. I can’t but feel hopeful when people come together to speak out against perversions of power. That’s what a protest is, right, speaking out against the misuse and abuse of power? It’s about not keeping quiet. When it matters most. I’ve been quiet too often in my life. When it mattered. Quiet when I knew development money was being wasted. Quiet when I suspected my boyfriend was cheating. Quiet when strangers suffered. Quiet when my clients paid me less than they should. Quiet when I was scared. Quiet when I was angry. Fear and anger matter. Maybe they matter most? People all over the world are scared right now. And angry. Scared and angry that those who hold power will deny us rights and opportunities; will demonize us; will drain our bank accounts while filling theirs. And if we don’t find ways to verbalise and utilise our fear and anger, then our fears will come...

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Courageous Conversations Giveaway 0

Courageous Conversations Giveaway

Posted by on 23rd Jan, 2017

Think of it as spa day.  For your heart. Together we’ll look at the story of your life, and how you would like that story to end.  We’ll take a deep breath and list out the courageous conversations you’re going to need to have in order to realise that happy ending.  What talents you’ve ignored for too long.   What truths need to be told to move your relationships or career forward.  What risks you’ll take this year to get closer to pursuing your passions.  By the time we say goodbye you’ll have a road map for living courageously in 2017. Exfoliate.  Massage.  Buff.  Your life.  Until you have the one you want. Apply via my Facebook page here. TERMS & CONDITIONS: You need to be prepared to be in central Cape Town for a full day between February 1 and May 1. We’ll choose a date that works best for you, me and the two friends who’ll join you. So you’ll need to cover your own transport and accommodation, if needed. We’ll work together from 9-5. And I need you to be free that entire time. Otherwise I just ask for an open heart and mind, and a keen commitment to mapping the way forward this...

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